The Kindness Tree

JUST BECAUSE YOUR EYES ARE OPEN, DOESN"T MEAN YOU SEE

About a month ago, I went on vacation to Italy. Perhaps it was because it was  "vacation", or it might have been the embracing nature of the Italian people, their culture and their surroundings but I felt like my spirit ran free. Though I tried to hold onto that feeling upon return home, somehow life hits you like a  brick wall and reality sets in all too quickly. It must have been symbolic that I journaled every day to capture and hold on to that feeling but never finished the last entry on route home. Need I say more!

How do we get caught up so quickly in the web of life?

It feels like I spend the majority of my time and effort searching for the illusive dream of "happiness". I, at times, get caught in the notion that the more I work and the more successful I am , the better my life will be."  The problem with that thinking is that it does not define success nor does it ensure that my efforts will guarentee that this translates into happiness. And, my "TO DO" list just gets longer.

In my heart, I know that it is not the external forces that determine happiness but the internal ones.

Often, we attribute our stress and distress to circumstances. We think we don't have the time when, the truth is, we don't make the time. The time to appreciate all the little ways that we are so lucky in our lives and the many pieces that in total make our life uniquely our own.

I want to learn to cherish every moment and find the lesson that it makes available to me.  DON"T YOU?

My husband recently went for some diagnostic testing which required several hours of testing at the hospital. My first thought was perhaps my son could drive my husband and I would pick him up so I could get a few hours of work done. After, I quickly realized that I wanted to be there the whole time and go through this with him.. for him. Not only was he very appreciative but it also made me realize what it can mean to be there for someone when they really need it and to be in the moment together. Luckily we shared the good news about the test results and the day ended with a renewed sense of closeness.

THAT DAY I KNEW AND EMBRACED WHAT HAPPINESS FEELS LIKE FROM THIS LOVING ACT OF KINDNESS!

NOW, IT IS YOUR TURN TO GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE HOW IT FEELS.

Holding on.....Letting go

Several events have converged to make this entry one written with a great deal of emotion.
This is the first day of summer vacation for my children. I personally have always loved the summertime.  While other mothers saw it as a "task" to have their children home and be with them 24/7, I enjoyed the relief from the hectic schedule of the school year and loved more time together in whatever shape or form.

This summer is bittersweet. For the first time, my oldest son, a rising senior in college, is not going to be home for his summer break. Though I support the decision whole heartedly, I cannot help but feel sad.
The likelihood of his not coming home again (other than for scheduled visits) as he moves on with his life is very great. I cannot be more proud of him and know that he will make this next life stage a success but.....

HOW DO WE HOLD ON TO ALL THAT IS NEAR AND DEAR TO OUR HEARTS AND AT THE SAME TIME-LET GO. THAT IS THE QUESTION! THAT IS THE EMOTIONAL CHALLENGE.!!

I recently saw this poem in a new parenting magazine, Wondertime.

"Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking
around outside your body"

I do not have answers but continually contemplate the questions. Are there ways to feel balance in the midst of change?  Perhaps viewing change as a relative phenomenon is part of the resolution.

I found out last evening that a member of my synagogue who I don't know personally but as a familiar face had a sudden brain hemorrhage and is not likely to recover. She is close to my age and has two children in college. With no warning, this tragedy was thrust on her and her loved ones. My heart aches for them.
I realize how grateful I must be.  How can I not appreciate each day, each change and be thankful.
While we do not have any control over all that life has in store, we can decide to see the glass as half full or half empty.

I open up my heart, soul and mind to embracing this confusing, sometimes amazing, sometimes catastrophic life. I invite you to share your thoughts and feelings about coming to some answers and living with the many unknowns.

I am currently reading "FINDING YOUR WAY HOME" A SOUL SURVIVAL KIT BY MELODY BEATTLE.
It a wonderful book that addresses these issues with compassion and hope.

Share any ways or resources that you have found to help all of us out there that are searching.
Without raising the questions, we will fail to find the answers.