The Kindness Tree

How To Make Someone's Day

HOW TO MAKE SOMEONE’S DAY AND BUILD FAMILY BONDS

Our world is filled with competition, a quest for power, materialism and all the ingredients that have contributed to our current state of world affairs. You may ask, what can I do? I am just one individual in the midst of a system that is greater than the sum of it’s parts.  And, what does this have to do with building family relationships? Glad you asked.

After the birth of my third son, I soon realized that I needed to be proactive, as well as creative, in combating the competitive, one-upmanship nature of boys.  When my sons were early school age, I designed a kindness board which was used to reinforce Acts of Kindness toward one another, including Mom and Dad. Visitors loved the idea and I can only say, now that my children are grown, that the greatest compliment that I have received as they were growing up was that I have “really nice kids.” In today’s world, that says quite a bit.

Imagine teaching your children, from a very early age, a way to feel good every day.  How, by one simple act, they can make someone else smile, even if they do not know them, and feel good by doing so.  Showing them that being kind to others is like a BIG HUG with your heart.

  As parents, it is easy to get caught up in encouraging the competitive side of your child. Isn’t it all about winning? Whether in soccer at 6 or being voted class president or ranking high as a High School senior to get into the best college, the message is the same.  I will never forget the time that my youngest son was nine years old and playing goalie at a state soccer competition. The coach gave the kids a “pep talk” during half time about the fact that there can be only one winner. My heart hurt thinking of the pressure on my son and the other team members.

As the world reinforces the importance of competition and winning, many parents fail to pay enough attention to our “kinder” side. Kindness is one of those traits that we “assume” our children will have but do not give teaching it enough attention. If only we could, each and every one of us, realize and actively reinforce the value of kindness, imagine the possibilities.

 Building kindness into your family value system will result in more warmth and caring within your family and enable children to take this extremely important value with them when they grow up and create their own lives.

This is the time to pass on the message of the amazing power of Random Acts of Kindness and its value as the greatest gift from the heart. The best part is that it doesn’t even cost anything!

Kindness Comes In Different Shapes and Sizes

Having just returned from a Family Vacation in Barbados, I am struck by the impact that kindness and warm hospitality can have on one's experience as well as the negative effect that occurs when the opposite happens.
Barbados was written up as an especially friendly, warm place where tourists are made to feel at home. Regretfully, I did not have that experience. Instead, I found the hotel staff to be somewhat abrupt and not very accommodating. They seemed to be doing their jobs begrudgingly. Perhaps, because of this experience, I was acutely aware of the few that were particulary nice and friendly such as the gentleman who lived in the far outskirts of the countryside and actually stopped our car to tell us how to get around a road detour just slightly up the way. Now, that was KIND!
It is amazing how different a place can feel when you are interacting with nice, friendly warm people.
It is like the difference between seeing a place when it is raining versus when the sun is shining. It just feels different.
We became friendly with a number of other guests at our hotel who were quite friendly. It is a gift to feel like you have made friends and bonded with people from all over the country who just happen to come together at a particular time and place. That will be a nice memory we shall keep with us forever.

My point on telling this story is that we can all add to the world and each others experiences if we showed some kindness along the way to those who we meet anew as well as those we already love.

Romeo, Romeo, Where Art Thou Romeo?

QUESTION:
Do you ever wish ROMEO, or PRINCE CHARMING or THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ would come into your life and make you feel better. I do. Since those guys seem to be busy somewhere else, I suggest we continue to look for the  "pot of gold" in another way. (For an endearing article on HEROES & HEROINES, see  stories@clubmomemail.com)

THE ANSWER: SPREAD A LITTLE KINDNESS AND WATCH THE MAGIC HAPPEN

If you take a  moment to practise a random Act of Kindness, you  can create a feeling that will last much longer!  CREATIVITY IS THE KEY! (See CreativityforLIfe.com for true inspiration)

So, here's your CREATIVE CHALLENGE:

To start, keep it simple. Do an ACT OF KINDNESS  toward a family member to see the result.
Some examples are:   replace the toilet paper (before someone has to ask for it)when the roll is done (CONSIDERATION), send an email to your mate just to say "hi"  and see how their day is going (THOUGHTFULNESS) REALLY, REALLY LISTEN  to someone (HELPFUL)
and, of course, Give a Hug (CARING)